Bad News Bear [Market]

As far as days in the stock market go, today was nearly as bad as it gets. The Associated Press said:

Bernanke thinks.

In a vote that shook the government, Wall Street and markets around the world, the House on Monday defeated a $700 billion emergency rescue for the nation’s financial system, leaving both parties and the Bush administration struggling to pick up the pieces. The Dow Jones industrials plunged nearly 800 points, the most ever for a single day.

This news blurb certainly caught my attention.  After analysis, it looks like $1.2 trillion in market value is gone because of the plan’s rejection. Those most concerned are left scratching their heads, mainly becuase another solution is without precedent (even though, I suppose the $700 billion bailout was too).

Apparently investors are not simply walking away from unknowns–they are moving at break-neck speeds. Although it probably was best for the U.S. to move away from this gigantic risk, you have to wonder what else is coming in this wildly growing financial crisis. 

My mind comes back to some new information I’ve been given access to…economist Chris Martensen’s “Three Beliefs“. Watch all of the little mini-lessons, and you’ll start to see that most of world’s economic woes come from need, not so much greed.  There are too many of us, and we all need the same resources.  It makes me wonder what event or events will ease the pressure.  World-wide tragedy? Perhaps, breakthough technology or a spiritual enlightenment?  Bernanke has a lot to think about, but so do the rest of us.

functionally UNEMPLOYED.

I fear that I became a statistic this summer, and I need to vent. If you read my About Me page, then you know I have a degree in education, but I am not currently teaching. It is not that I don’t want to teach anywhere. In a narrow field, it’s hard to compete for positions when you’ve got a “contract non-renewal” on your record.

Losing my job this past May hurt deeply. I have never worked so hard for positive results—primarily for my students, but also for myself, as a developing educator—in my entire life, short though it’s been. I gave everything—and I mean everything—I had to make it work. But the final decision rested with my Principal, and so it became necessary to begin the search again.

As the dust settled on the 2007-2008 school year, I hit the road (and the internet), searching for a school that would have me. A few possibilities turned to dust when the Alabama education budget didn’t pass, then eventually fell short of the funds needed. The positions simply disappeared from the job boards—or they chose not to interview a “blighted” candidate…me.

As I traveled around the state through the summer months, with dwindling confidence and rapidly disappearing savings account (gas was high, remember), I began to come to terms with the fact that I just might not have a job in education. As I reluctantly tore myself away from the hope of making whatever I did so poorly at my first school right, I knew I’d have to find a job doing something. It was very hard to quit simply trying to do something that means so much to me, and the desire to teach really drives my life. I set a cut-off date—when I could no longer afford to move and begin teaching a school year on the right note, without too much distraction.

Monster.com and Yahoo! Hot Jobs gave me some hope, as I browsed all the local jobs. It seemed like there was an abundance of decently paid jobs—many that I could do well at, with a little training. I was even willing to learn some new skills. I have to admit, it is kind of exciting to think about a career in a more “corporate” setting, even if it was only until I can get back in the classroom. And I even had some experience from my time as an administrative assistant during college. I really thought that, in a very recessed economy, the fact that I was applying for jobs slightly out my field, but with a college degree and some prior experience would send employers my way, eagerly.

Yeah…it didn’t take long for me to grow up. I was definitely going to have to go through the job search process. And I’m facing the whole range of results.

From the very beginning, there was the silence of the phone. I’d apply to four or five jobs and get nothing but silence. Then…on the glorious sixth, I’d finally get a nibble. And they e-mail or call, giving some hope. In my experience, I’ve gone to interviews only to be told there were no available positions, but that I meet the requirements to be put into the candidate pool. I’ve been told that I practically have the job, only to be told soon after that they have “decided to go another direction,” or that the position had been filled by upper management already. I’ve gone to interviews to be rejected, and reasonably so.

In one situation, after the head secretary arranged an “interview” for 2:00, she took one look at me, had me fill out an application—after which she never reappeared—the receptionist told me that I would be contacted in a few days for an interview. When that phone call never came, I couldn’t bring myself to do the follow-up call. I was raised in a military area, and as a little girl overt racism didn’t exist in the community or my realm of consciousness. While I now know that racism exists, I try not to look for it. But sometimes, I just get a feeling that I wasn’t what people expected—when their first contact with me is a cover letter or a phone conversation. It hurts me on some deep, unexplainable level when it happens.

I created applications on so many company websites, many of which never showed interest. I’m still doing it though (filled out two today), and I started keeping a notebook page with various log-ins and passwords, in an effort to keep them all straight. I have to wonder what I’m doing wrong, so I constantly tweak my resume, and carefully word every cover letter. I need a job, if only to feel some self-worth. I want to be an asset, somewhere. I want to stop being so negative about why it just “didn’t work out” with education—maybe it wasn’t supposed to. Plus, my student loans, and their lending agency, demand it.

So I took a job in fast food, but even this left me feeling functionally unemployed. Working hard, but not making much for the pay-per-hour effort. Getting excited about a 15 cent raise is the equivalent of clawing at walls if trapped in a mine shaft, so I was not happy. My bachelor’s degree definitely marked me as qualified (actually making it through college), on a really superficial level. The truth is, I’m lousy at being a QSR (quick service restaurant, as they call it in the “biz”) employee. And…I hate every shift. I don’t really feel comfortable asking for more hours or a raise when my skills aren’t up to par. My prior food service experience was way more laid back, by comparison. I do have a lot more respect for the business now that I’ve experienced it—which gives me a message for any future students I might have. If they think life will be easy when they drop out and just get a fast food job, I can attest that there is nothing like having a desk to sit down at…even for just a second between classes.

When there is a simple truth, so obvious that I would never think twice about it, I have to wonder what I can take from this experience—what I need to take from this experience. I guess I do have the heart of an educator, because I want to believe that everything I’m going through can help one of my students, someday. Or maybe, just maybe, I needed to grow up some more.

I’ll keep hoping for a job that I will be comfortable in and that will also pay the bills; one where, with some work, I can develop into a decent employee. I’ll keep moving back towards education so that I can find a group of students that I really can give what I was given in school. I have enough sense to keep trying to improve my lot. With the United States’ current situation, I guess that’s what it really is to live the “American Dream”.