Well, the love of my life is off interviewing for some positions as a band director today. 

The phone rang off the hook yesterday with calls and callbacks from principals.  And his mother–mostly telling him about this job and to go here and there to apply (she had obviously called someone about this).  He printed resumés and the other normal stuff you’d take to an interview.  We were in a flurry of activity this morning, but not too rushed…I had laid out his suit/tie/shirt/socks/underwear last night, and talked to him a little bit last night about his prospects.  He has two interviews for three possible positions today; one at a large program and two at small schools.  I had absolutely no words of wisdom for him, since my attempts last year flopped.  Besides that, he’s the one who nearly achieved tenure, and I was let go after only one year.

Because he is getting started, I am now that much closer to the gate.  On so many levels, this fills me with excitement.  On so many other levels, this fills me with dread.  Today has been full of flashbacks to the dumbest things I did and said in my first year on the podium. I still feel the burning shame of not being able to get it right for my kids and administration, and for that shortcoming I lost my job–after I nearly ripped myself to pieces trying to hold the program together.  Absolute horror and shame in my first year failure. I carried that shame with me to every interview last summer.  I know interviewers had to have been able to read the word plainly through my facial expressions if they asked any in-depth questions about my time at my first school; and if they couldn’t tell quite what it was, something about me may have seemed off, but nameless and therefore, not safe as a hire.  A few near misses, and it was July, the job postings dried up, and band camps started.  I watched it all go by, with an added helping of shame simply because I would not even have a chance to make it work this time.

If things go well today, we may know something soon and I’ll know more about how to feel.  All I can do for right now is pray for him to find a school that he is satisfied with (and that will have him!) that is also far enough away from the family…and get my own materials in order.  I haven’t really got my resume updated or my e-portfolio added to–until today.  I’ve been resisting the urge to even look at possibilities for myself, because I know if I’m completely ready, I’ll just be here, waiting, nagging him and chomping at the bit… 

…He called me about the first interview, and it doesn’t look so good for the big school.  Not entirely sure what they wanted in a director, but he didn’t have the best feeling about it coming out.  Maybe it was too big a jump from a 1A school to a 5A school…

Going through the interviewing process for any school’s position as band director is stressful.  The first part, waiting for postings, is stressful, since you have to go on hearsay (where sometimes the director doesn’t even know their job is in jeapordy–here, I have experience) until you finally do see some official listings.  When you sort them out in order of preference, it is sometimes impossible to figure out which school has an opening inside of the city or county system where the posts are vague, and then researching the school can be equally as hard, even if you know which school is open, because the websites are diverse and often in disarray.  After you click the apply button/submit the paper application, you may still have some waiting ahead of you…waiting for the phone to ring, that is.  If, and when you are called, it may or may not be a formality (if their director is already “picked”) but you have no way of knowing until you hear about it later.  If you are called…well, there is no formula to ace the interview, since principals and other interviewers themselves are diverse.  Basically, a good fit for the school is anyone that can manage the band’s behavior and discipline, keep students working at ALL times, responsibly organize events, finances, etc., and basically keep the program going in the right musical direction.  It is the unknown x that sells a principal on their new hire…and this factor is something that they are looking for in a band director that you cannot possibly know, and you cannot try to be. 

For now, I can only hope that he has that special something that makes a principal decide to invite him on board, and let the rest fall into place.